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月記

0.
持續的記錄生活不是一件容易的事情,不管是用文字還是影像或是音樂
考慮到日記成功率的微小以及週記性的怠惰,月記便成為我書寫的唯一可能了。

ㄅ.
對我而言,開始工作以後,不管願意與否,生活是已經建立在一個與思考反向的軌道上了
跟工作的距離越是靠近,跟文字的親暱就越是疏離,而且遠離的速率就跟宇宙間兩個星球間的距離一樣:越是遠離,其遠離的加速度就更大,簡單的說就是要用加倍的時間去挽回我與文字之間的距離。

ㄆ.
工作以後,生活上的吃與休息就成了兩大不可怠慢的任務。可以花大錢享用美食,也可以用一整個上午賴床,享受被浪費的光陰,但似乎用腦子思考人生這件事情就成了必須要什麼是都完成了以後還有多餘的時間打發的情形之下才會發生的意外,對於日常生活規律的我,這種意外自然也不多見。

ㄇ.
五年以後的自己在哪裡? 十年以後回顧現在會覺得日子沒有被浪費嗎? 不得以而進入的社會的工作能給我多大的滿足? 如果可以,當一朵鄰居門前因為被寒流和虛假陽光欺騙而綻放的茶花應該不會比較差吧!

ㄈ.
諸如此類的事情都是一樣得不可加以評斷,生活就是一連串來不及評斷的事件的總和,通常在塵埃落定以後深呼一口氣才發現第一件浮上心頭的還是等一下要做的事情,而過去,就像一大疊過期得債券堆在上鎖的保險櫃裡--曾經都是極為昂貴的,但仍舊敵不過通貨膨脹後的現在。

ㄉ.
聖誕節又要到了,又要跨年了,明年又要來了,對於一腳跨入未來另一腳還沒從過去拔出的我,"現在" 這個時間點的狀態被壓縮的似乎只剩下掙扎於兩腳的移動之間,即使想要浪費,也沒有多大的本錢...

ㄊ.
即使如此,日子還是可以接受,1/3的工作,1/3的睡眠, 1/6的吃飯洗澡與通勤, 1/12的談情說愛,1/24的也許閱讀,以及1/24的無所事事 造就了所謂的一天24小時。

ㄋ.
如此的看待人生也難怪我右腕上的手表是如此重要。

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