Hao's Life

0. 持續的記錄生活不是一件容易的事情，不管是用文字還是影像或是音樂 考慮到日記成功率的微小以及週記性的怠惰，月記便成為我書寫的唯一可能了。 ㄅ. 對我而言，開始工作以後，不管願意與否，生活是已經建立在一個與思考反向的軌道上了 跟工作的距離越是靠近，跟文字的親暱就越是疏離，而且遠離的速率就跟宇宙間兩個星球間的距離一樣:越是遠離，其遠離的加速度就更大，簡單的說就是要用加倍的時間去挽回我與文字之間的距離。 ㄆ. 工作以後，生活上的吃與休息就成了兩大不可怠慢的任務。可以花大錢享用美食，也可以用一整個上午賴床，享受被浪費的光陰，但似乎用腦子思考人生這件事情就成了必須要什麼是都完成了以後還有多餘的時間打發的情形之下才會發生的意外，對於日常生活規律的我，這種意外自然也不多見。 ㄇ. 五年以後的自己在哪裡? 十年以後回顧現在會覺得日子沒有被浪費嗎? 不得以而進入的社會的工作能給我多大的滿足? 如果可以，當一朵鄰居門前因為被寒流和虛假陽光欺騙而綻放的茶花應該不會比較差吧! ㄈ. 諸如此類的事情都是一樣得不可加以評斷，生活就是一連串來不及評斷的事件的總和，通常在塵埃落定以後深呼一口氣才發現第一件浮上心頭的還是等一下要做的事情，而過去，就像一大疊過期得債券堆在上鎖的保險櫃裡--曾經都是極為昂貴的，但仍舊敵不過通貨膨脹後的現在。 ㄉ. 聖誕節又要到了，又要跨年了，明年又要來了，對於一腳跨入未來另一腳還沒從過去拔出的我，"現在" 這個時間點的狀態被壓縮的似乎只剩下掙扎於兩腳的移動之間，即使想要浪費，也沒有多大的本錢... ㄊ. 即使如此，日子還是可以接受，1/3的工作，1/3的睡眠, 1/6的吃飯洗澡與通勤, 1/12的談情說愛，1/24的也許閱讀，以及1/24的無所事事 造就了所謂的一天24小時。 ㄋ. 如此的看待人生也難怪我右腕上的手表是如此重要。

Yok says that i like this song very much. Yes, I do. Everytime I listen to this song, I feel that I am in the old British house with a strong fire in the fireplace, and it is about 9ish in the evening and it is always in the winter. Most of time I would sit on the sofa, by the side of the fireplace and the smell of old carpet and wood would mix up to become a scent of enternity--old, but timeless. I would repeat the song again and again with eyes closing to let the every little stories of my life run in my mind without any pause. Most of time, I couldn't even have time to think of any event happened in my life, the song repeated itself again. Life is very long if I can live up to 80 years old, but life is also relatively very short, if we only extract the essence of it and compare it with a legth of a song, like the Norwegian Wood, maybe life could be shorter than 2 minutes and 5 seconds. Well, this is what I always think of when listening to the song, and I still don't know ho

上班的時候坐在公車上經過一座又一座的公園。 天氣很冷太陽很大，樹葉落的紅一片黃一片在馬路的兩側。 是秋天了，秋天總是令人多愁善感，但什麼才是讓人最感傷的呢? 一直以來我都以為秋的惆悵是踩在紅的黃的綠的落葉上稀稀蘇蘇的聲音和冷颼颼的風刮過身體時的不適應感。 但今天坐在開著暖氣的雙層紅色巴士裡看著窗外陽光灑在落葉，行人，小狗，柵欄以及我身上的時候才意識到，真的的"秋心，愁"是 沒辦法悠閒的讓心情去感受秋天然後還得進公司的無奈。 很久沒有逛周日市集了，我的星期天其實是星期一。

I was very excited, no doubt. And because it was so exciting, so new, so cool, it turns out that I was very tired too. 8 hours working was not a big deal, but kept learning something new non-stop for 8 hours was really something! It was like forcing a sprinter to join marathon, he is still good at exercise, but not the type of muscle which marathoner needs, at least, not yet. But, luckily, I have many personal trainers...gay trainers...and they are super nice to be honest. Also the department store is in a massively, crazily huge size. half of it is a dazzling shopping mall, and another half of it just like the tunnel for mine field, bad air circulation, plain interior design and almost too sad to be presented to the public. when you face the sun, the shadow is behind you. Indeed, the other side of smiling face to the customers is a tired spirit. So the glorious window displays are actually built up by dirty, gloomy working pathways behind it. Well, lesson learned. Also, how to keep yo

This is the line from one UK local fashion store, Although it is the same meaning as "sales continue" this slogan is much more beautiful and even more sentimental for me. Clothing is something going out of date quickly than other things nowadays, and it is not because the quality is getting worse, but because it is actually too good to be worn out. Why is that? because the clothes are too durable so the stores have to come up with new trick such as "fashion". Once the function of the clothing is detached from the protection, wearing a shirt is no longer as simple as keeping you warm. It is something can define yourself or change yourself, of course, the premise is that you are deceived by the term of fashion and want to be the boggiest fool. I am not that fool, but is not as awake as the people in the old time, and that is why my the size of my wardrobe is almost the same as my girlfriend. there is always something old in my wardrobe and it always needs something ne

I moved to here almost 10 days ago, but have just settled 20 hours ago. Everyone needs a room, a room which can be messed or decorated by his own will, of course, in my case, by the will of both of us. It is fine, totally fine, as long as we can have our room. the previous tenants couldn't move out on time, and because I am a good person, so we stay on the floor of living room for another few nights. I am amazed by the desire of longing for a new room from my heart, it is so strong, too strong to wait for another day to move in after the minute the previous tenants say bye to me. New bed setting, new arrangement of the furniture, new home for my clothes, everything is in order after non-stop cleaning and unpacking for few hours and even the peace lily travelled from Leeds with us finally can spread his leaves happily in the corner of new room. But we are not very familiar with this room yet, at least, not when we were sleeping. I had too many crazy dreams last night, but we will be

Life is dramatic, if you look closely enough. Last minute I drop countless CVs in almost every shops in the central London and wait for the response restlessly and there is not even a postive answer for me. Next minute I have to reject, block, or even lie to the coming phone calls because there are too many job-offers for me to choose and I can only accept one, of course. Although I could accept any one of them before I hand in my CV to them, it is only one place that I like most (and expect call-back least). Luckily, the manager from that place finally called me a day before I went to sign the contract with the other company. In order to get get interview with the store I like most and hold the other offer as a back-up, I tried to get to meet the manager 2 hours before I have to run to the other company ( am I an an opportunist? if it defines by the money I left in my account, yes, I am an opportunist who tries to survive) It was one of my most exciting moment in my life, the intervie

So I am leaving Leeds 3 days from now with a bit of sadness and very much excitement. Leeds is never a beautiful city, even it has much more sun shine than any other city I have ever been in the UK, and, trust me, I have been to lots of them. It is that the people make this place beautiful. It is always better to have a friend or two to lie down on the grass to enjoy the sunny day than do the sunbath alone. And it is always more enjoyable to go shopping or having tea time with friends than experiencing the solitude by myself. And I didn't know that until travelling to the UK with my shadow only an year and half ago. People are generally nice here although I had some bad experience confronting with the strangers. But bad luck doesn't count, it is just not lucky enough. Anyway, everything is nicer when it is time to go, at least for me, it is. Leeds is not pretty, but Leeds has it's face--a face mixes nature with old and new and half-finished buildings. It is a rejuvenating c

I was very happy to receive an email from my old friend from Taiwan 20 mins after I wrote to him yesterday. Quick replying my email really shows the good thing about the Internet that email is not mail, and it waste no time on the posing. Quick email also brought a quick potential offer of my future--an opportunity to work with some old friends, an adventure of exploring the ocean of future with some of my best friends. It is also a scenario of one-piece, my favor comic book. We can fight for the greatest treasure on the map of ocean, but, do I need the treasure? Or, what is the dearest treasure for me? In the email I wrote to my friend, I said that there is no prefect choice for life, there is only an unregerttable choice. In economic terms, we can only make the decision with least opportunity cost, but not the one you can earn most. There was a moment that I really want to fly back right away to do my best in their team, there WAS. So why I am still here? there is a voice in my mind

It was very good to attend friends concert, and it was even better to enjoy the night in the Liverpool with Ryan and his music. It was my third time to listen to his band's performance and they have been improved a lot since 2 years ago, although his hand is not very convenient to swing or slap the drum as usual, still he brought a good show to me. And the view was amazing along the sea. It is the light which give me such a pleasure even I know most of time all those great view in the dark night are nothing but the illusion of light. I enjoyed the mixture of new building and old Cathedral, the light from full moon and city light, with the breeze from the sea, I can smell the salt from the dark sea front taking me to the deck of mysterious boat. It is Liverpool, the place where I was on board a memorable night.

To be honest, handing in Cv to the retailing store is quite a good fun although long walking to everywhere makes me feel like a dunky--very durable and honest to go forward step by step. Of course, it would be great that I could get a job after this long hunting. I hunt job, and wish all those "preys" can bite me back, at least a bite of inerview. However, this is not the office job, not the "25000 up" ponds job, but it is a job. A job which allows me to dress well, to talk to and observe people. The most important, a job for me to live in London. It has not come yet, but it will be. If 36 CVs to the shops are not enough, then I will hand in 72 copies of them. One of them in this hugh Lodon will be accepted by one gifted manager eventually. Back to CV, I prefer to apply in person rather than apply on line, although it seems that on-line applying is more formal than just pop in the store and say: "hey, is it possible for me to drop my CV here if there is any van

後來有很長的時間他一直覺得自己的下巴歪歪的，而且不怎麼固定，像是又回到了兒時骨頭膠質豐富的時期，手一壓，下巴就稍稍的偏回來，上齒和下齒便可以咬合，手一放，對著鏡子張口閉口的下巴又會微微的向右偏了回去，上下排牙齒便彷彿在不同空間似的沒有交集的各自運作著。 他常常的問女友關於自己下巴的”正確性” ，是否跟受傷前一樣，女友每次也不厭其煩的認真的端詳許久，然後說似乎有稍微向右偏的傾向，不過每次一定又會加一句，不管怎樣，在我眼中你都一樣。但是他通常都只聽到的上半段就急忙起身去照鏡子，在鏡前故作咀嚼般的看著下巴的移動。似乎真的不那麼端正了，歪了這麼幾公厘的下巴竟讓我看起來這麼蠢，他忿忿的想著。常常都要過了5分10分他才會悻悻然的從廁所出來，用一種充滿自信的口吻說，歪這麼一點，無傷無傷，但神情卻顯漠落，像是全身的自信來源都繫於那長長的下巴，一歪，就甚麼都不正，什麼都靠不住了，連信心也煙似的消散在空中。 甚至他還開始翻起過去的照片，近照像是幾周前到處遊山玩水的模樣，舊照如幾年前還台灣生活的家常照片，別人看照片會不勝唏噓的感嘆光陰飛逝，照片裡的景色依舊，而照裡的人卻變了許多，像是分手的女友，兒時的朋友，日漸蒼老的父母和被時間催促著長大的自己。他看著這些照片也長吁短嘆，但專注點都只有自己那原本健全的下巴，看著看著有時他還覺得下巴原本就不是用鉛錘測量直線一般垂直的正，沒有人的五官是對稱的，下巴也是一樣，這個結論他每看一次照片裡的自己就會下一次，但每每又在視線對上自己鏡裡的下巴時又推翻一次，反反覆覆如今他自己也搞不清原本下巴有沒有歪了。 他還養成了一個怪僻，走在路上總會盯著吃漢堡或三明治的人的嘴巴看，對於那些嘴巴可以輕鬆張大的人他投以羨慕的眼光，並且他還愛測量每個人將食物靠近嘴巴與嘴巴張開要咬下去的瞬間的距離，有的人還在遠遠的時候就張開了嘴等待食物靠近，有的人不到漢堡觸到了嘴唇絕不張大，有的人還會將食物拉近又放遠，像是享受又像是測量吃東西的完美距離。但同樣的是，食物到口的當下，絕對是即刻咬下去，毫無半點怠慢，像鯊魚獵食一般的迅速，這一點人類與冷血動物完全一樣，萬物冥冥中都有個相似點，他為此特地也下了個結論。 當然從此以後路人的下巴也是他主要的觀察區，英國人的下巴有稜有角，即使胖，下巴也是翹翹的耸著，彷彿下巴本身是一個獨立的器官，雖負責咀嚼食物提供足以養胖身體的養分，但卻超然的不受祿，永遠嶙

所以說我們都在掩飾謊言 謊言是真實的影子，而影子卻在我背後 (如果面對太陽的話) 唯一的真實似乎只剩太陽了，但觸碰太陽卻是一件那麼遙不可及 並且傷人的行徑。 持續說謊或是被撒謊吧，為了妳我所以為的自己的真實。 陰涼的百年榕樹就是這樣被灌溉的默默茁壯的方式，就像我們以為的自己的人生

倫敦路邊的咖啡站，有時候一旦單純的喝咖啡或排隊等咖啡被拍了下來以後，一個瞬間的動作就變成了永久的定格，一切彷彿就變的戲劇化起來，被截取的舉手投足也莫名得不可思議起來。 特別的店頭設計，超大的籠子，願意被關的應該就只有店員了巴... 所謂的襯裙巷，一大堆topshop剪標品，還有很多知名女裝，全部10鎊以內，甚至兩件五鎊，還去牛津圓環買什麼呢?? 躲在倫敦市中心的便宜貨集散地，添增了倫敦多樣化的面貌 創意髮飾，好看實用但好像不太舒服... 努力秀創意髮飾的義大利老闆 帽子，很多的帽子 大特價，sale標語一定要清晰可見，只是對我來說多數商品打折後還是不敢恭維... 爸爸帶著小女兒在舊書攤尋寶，爸爸認真翻著散裝的書頁，小女兒也若有其事的看著雜亂的插圖 假人模特兒依該是最時尚的指標了巴，而真人買衣服似乎只是為了跟假人媲美，雖然穿得漂亮就好，但心裡總是覺得怪怪的