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不安之書

不安之書

 

這是一本有意識地將自我分割出來的書，從作者到內容的著述者，甚至討厭的人，全都是一個人寫的，某個程度這本書是小說，因為誰是誰寫誰都蒙上一層朦朧的霧。

可是600多頁，都是散文，都在寫那個執筆人的心情感情熱情無情，所以隔了很久，才來翻閱第二遍，因為某人某事某地某時的文字，就跟天氣一樣，變化萬千，令我難以招架，可是看下去就如同走進天地中，甚麼樣的氣候都有美麗的風景。

他說：「我有社交的能力，但是僅限於沒人的時候，可以和自己幻想中的人物好好聊個天」，我雖然喜歡獨處看書，好險還會知道，真正的人際關係和自我的思維，不但很重要，還都不一樣，難怪愈看愈不安想要逃脫，真的好不安啊~!

也一直在想，不安之書裡面一句話：「因為外在的行動力被束縛了，所以思想可以無限擴大提升。」作者是被會記的日常工作給綁住，所以不時的心思會跳出來到他想像的地方，那我呢？

我是像潛水鐘與蝴蝶一樣，受傷的身體像沉重的潛水鐘，心思卻是蝴蝶想飛，已經好久沒有跑步、騎自行車、游泳、打球、重訓了，可是思想卻去了好多地方，那些地方對沒受傷的我來說也是不可能去到這麼巷弄裡的。

現在還在努力讓身體動起來，偶爾看到以前的照片，說不難過，是騙人的，可如果掉淚又是何苦呢？這就是我的人生，現在開始是用思想來看社會，過去是先做再說，以身體去感受這世界，現在，用笛卡兒的方式：「我思，故我在」來感受，也不錯吧！

「生活充滿悖論，如同玫瑰長滿荊棘」--《不安之書》的話，睡覺前看他的書，越看越睡不著，可是有道理的話，怎麼會不安呢？

因為睡覺只不過是一個暫停鍵，天一亮，人就自動轉上發條，為習慣做事了。


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